Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat...

I was so excited this morning when I stepped on the scale and I had finally lost some weight. I guess my plateau has finally passed. I lost two pounds last week! Much better than the one pound last month.

Ah, the holidays are approaching. I love giving gifts! Those wise men started a great tradition! Unfortunately it is going to be slim gifts this year but it will still be a great time. Aren't birthdays awesome? But I will admit that I am terrified about the meals. I do love to eat! That is kind of my problem. But I also love putting up the tree! Shinny and sparkly! And the time it take with the kids and all the "I remember when we got this ornament!" It is a big part of the bonding for me. (I think we should have hot chocolate while we put the tree up this year.) And we are starting to develop a new tradition as the kids get older. We make the Santa treats just like we always have and even set it up next to the fire place. Then we gather all the stocking stuffers and frantically wrestle with each other's stockings as we try to stuff them and keep the other person from peeking. Then we all share the Santa treat! I truly hope to do this when there are grandchildren pretending to be asleep somewhere near.

We are going to have most of the family for turkey dinner. And my husband wants to have my eldest daughter for Christmas. I am not too happy about that but I think I can manage it for a day.

I had been working on trying to forgive her for her actions and most of the time I ended up crying my eyes out. It is hard to forgive someone who is not looking for forgiveness but feels completely justified in their transgressions against you. (Can forgiveness be given without there being remorse?)
Therefore, I am taking a different step and hope that perhaps the forgiveness will follow. I am now trying to accept her opinion of me. If I can figure out how to be comfortable with the fact that she thinks I should not be part of the family, maybe I can let go how hurt I am. It is just who she is. I did my best and she certainly did not like it. I cannot do any more. Our relationship is just that, dislike and distrust. It is what it is and we have to learn to live around that. No mater what happens, she is a huge part of my heart. Even if I do as I usually do and just never go around the people who actively work against me, she will still always be with me. I may have adopted her and not actually birthed her, but she is still my daughter in my heart.  I have always believed that holidays are for pulling family together.
My husband has a similar relationship with one of his brothers. The brother in question tried to take my stepson away from my husband. Katie tries to take all my kids from me. Hubby does not deal with it, but I have to. There is a part of me that resents that, but there is a part of me that knows I do not need to do this for other people. I just really wish I knew how to do this.

Well that is the holidays, the good, the bad and the ugly. I hope I can enjoy this holiday season and manage to keeping bringing down my higher place of food. Seems like a lot to manage but I have a feeling it is not more than most people have to manage. We all have a balancing act of family, friends and money during this time of year. It is a big part of what makes the Holidays exciting.