Moving forward, Slowly but surely.

Let me get the simple stuff out of the way first.
Yippy! I stayed on track at the gym this week. The only exception being today. Go me!
I tracked my diet much better this week. Still not perfect but I am making better progress each week.
My youngest daughter finished up her volley ball season and is thinking of soccer in the spring. My middle daughter got her college acceptance letter this week! Whoot! My son's grades are much better and he is even up to his own grade level of reading! The changes I have made in my efforts to giving my children a better life seems to be working! It makes me feel good about my choice to quit my retail job. Being available to my children has made such a big difference. Sure, the money is not as dependable, but the kids do not care. They are fine with not getting as many trinkets. As a matter of fact, they have not even seemed to notice. I had gotten so lost about what I should be doing as a mother. It took my husband pushing me to do the right thing and seeing the difference for myself to learn that I was letting my kids down by putting my job before my mothering. I will never forget what my husband has given me by putting his foot down about my job. The Lord really blessed me with that man!

Now to the bigger section of my blog. I have been doing a lot of soul searching this week about my food problem. And about what is the root of the whole problem. The bible is full of stories that tell that God grants abundance to those who are loyal to Him. I don't think anyone can dispute that America is blessed (until recently). With those blessings comes the opportunity for the devil to work in his favorite ways, using Gods blessing against you.
My sin is gluttony. I am a compulsive over eater.  The blessings God gave this country of an abundance of food, I managed to turn  into a higher place. But my gluttony is not the only way the devil uses this blessing. I have a new, dear friend who suffers from anorexia. In talking to her about her struggles, it seems to me that the devil will also use pride to turn food into a higher place. If you are susceptible to pride and have very little control over your life, I can see how the ability to control food intake could become your higher place as well. Be it pride or gluttony, turning food into a higher place will kill you. It will either waist you away or crush you. Really the basics are the same.

I have spent the last several years looking for someone else to fix me in this problem I have. I am just now starting to realize that there is not any man out there who can help. It is completely up to God and I. I have taken the first step and acknowledged that I am a compulsive over eater. I have a deadly problem. I am working on letting God guide me. I am not all that great at this part yet. I still fall back into the trap that I am just wasting God's time (that is the devil whispering in my ear). I am still having to remind myself to not put my own short comings on God as though he suffers from them too. I am working on giving over myself to God and relying on His strength and not my own, which has already failed me time and time again.

Things to try this week:
1. Take a few minutes before each meal to meditate and pray. Not just thank God for the blessing of food but also for His strength to eat to live and not live to eat.
2. Read a little in my new self help book about compulsive over eating.
3. Research about where an OA meeting that I might be able to attend may be. (Maybe drag my brother to it with me.)